Whew! Now that Halloween is over, and all of our silly owners have their photos of us in our ridiculous costumes, can we please take a paws (haha, get it?) and reflect?
I am speaking on behalf of all the pooches out there who were needlessly dressed up and paraded around our homes and neighborhoods in Halloween costumes. We all beg you--please stop. Please stop this practice! We do not like costumes. They're reserved for babies, children, teachers, and twentysomethings going to costume parties. They're uncomfortable, itchy, and hot. They NEVER fit like it shows in the picture. Plus, no one thinks to give the dogs anything on Halloween night. Probably because we can't talk and say things like "Trick or treat!" Am I right? Come on folks, throw us a bone at least! Something with a little meat on it would be greatly appreciated!
Who came up with the idea to put us in costumes, anyway? The people out there without kids? If you think costumes are cute, leave your porch light on and give out candy to the neighborhood kids while I chill out in the backyard chewing on my own treats. We canines are perfectly content without costumes. We're cute enough as it is. Save the photos for another day. Save your money. Or better yet, spend that money on some good treats for us!
We're begging you. Enough with this costume craziness. Don't you love us as we are? Why must you see us dressed up as hippos, bumblebees, or sheep? We are DOGS, and we like it that way.
Please consider our plea for next Halloween. Trust me, dogs everywhere agree. NO MORE COSTUMES.
This post was written by Derek Nagy, product marketing manager for membership and accreditation at AAHA. Derek lives in Lakewood, Colo. with his wife, Amy, and two daughters. He also has a beagle and a cat, neither of which have ever worn, or ever will wear, a costume of any kind. Unless his daughters beg him.
Edited by Sarah Rumple.